The New Year is ne'er upon us. What an amazing year it has been with the help of the program it contained moments of happiness, joy and a new ways to look at life.
This is freedom to me not to be imprisoned by my old way of looking at the world.
My head has been spinning the last few days as a reminder of the way I used to be before the program. But I have a choice to entertain these thoughts or to detach with love. Yes to let go and let god move in my life. Mr Sponsor Pants had a post today on "will power". This action led me down dark corridors with scary creatures. I am not sure how to " let go" always trusting the universe has a plan for me is a new action. Doing the footwork is one tool I try to remember to use when I feel paralyzed. I am used to my will power pushing me through my fear.
But I have choices when I am feel smothered with the thinking. Get up and walk along the ocean, meditate, also to feel compassion for others who suffer with the disease of Alanon. It is a progressive disease it gets worse if not examined.
Last week a new comer cried throughout her share, addicted men are her bottom.
Heroin addicts were her drug of choice and her disease is taking her down. Her entire body shook, tears were streaming down her cheeks.
She was powerless over her addiction. She could not stop. This is where Alanon saved my life it gave me back my life. No situation is hopeless with the help of Alanon. If she continues to show up for meetings and work the program her life will change. Maybe in ways she doesnt imagine but it will not remain the same.
I sympathized with her, I too am powerless and this realization moved me into the program.
After the meeting I went up to her and shared a few words of encouragement. I steered her toward literature table and the meeting list. Keep coming back I told her the program will be there for you even when you can't be there for yourself.
Even the darkest of moments can be faced with a grateful heart, if not for the crisis itself, at least for the growth it can evoke with the help of our Higher Power.
In All Our Affairs
1. HP guides me throughout the day
2. 12 steps got to work on #4
3. The ocean is waiting for a walk