I had a nice day today despite myself. At first I felt frantic and old feelings arose as they do most weekends, I am alone in the world and so misunderstood.
This I do believe is one of the trademarks I hear in the rooms. Alone. Loneliness.
In my desperation one night I Googled "loneliness" and found a wonderful Buddhist monk chatting on the subject...Looks like I am not alone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fb4IYpKYRA

Does this have to do with my expectations of what I want the world to be?
Looking for some person place or thing to fill me up is not going to fill up the void.

To take care of myself I drove to a farmers market and bought some beautiful fresh almonds.
Green furry skins with a crunchy almond inside. The feelings disappeared as the day progressed.

A woman author I admire wrote to experience something new at least once week. This for me keeps me alive and in the beauty life has to offer. Today I got to set my problems aside and let some wonder slide into my life.