The most loving from of detachment is forgiveness, just finished reading my Courage to Change.
It is one of my more difficult character defects letting go of how I want things to be through my will. Things should be done my way and I will teach them how it is supposed to be...This was my job as a child to monitor everyone, give them direction. My needs we not important. I was taking care of others at the expense of myself at a very young age. I was worried about my brothers and sisters they had no direction. As I aged my care taking became a career, managing projects not taking care of myself. Friends would call me any time of day and night going into great detail regarding their problems. I listened offering my advice but I began to get angry. They never asked how I was doing. When was it going to be my turn to be heard? The turn never came because I didn't know how to take care of myself. Taking care of myself means going inside to listen, to stop doing, not being always available.
My resentments against others dwindle also when I cease to become HP. Forgiving myself for my humaness allows me to forgive others. Everyone has their own HP. Letting go of how I want the outcome to look like. Letting go of taking care of others oftentimes they aren't asking for the help anyway these days.