time away

My vacation was nice it was good to get away from my life. The ocean was turquoise blue with white patches of coral glimmering through.
For the first time I snorkeled, it was incredible to watch the fish, coral sand whirl and turn.

I didn't feel well and thought of canceling my day in the sea. But I remembered to keep it simple and followed my breathe for guidance in my uncomfortable place. We sped through the water in a small boat and hit some large waves. But it turned out wonderful despite my hesitation. I took care of myself by mentioning my anxiety to the leader of the group. He was patient with me and took time to describe the trip.

At the resort there was heavy drinking and large amount of food consumed all day long. I stepped back and watched. Do we really need to eat and drink such large amounts of everything? It is disturbing to be a part of the mindless consumers. I don't want to sound like I am above the crowd because I am not above anyone. But the buckets of food poured out was incredibly sad I hope buffets become less popular one day. Hell for me would be a revolving buffet line filled with trays of food pilled ever higher kind of like Jack in the beanstalk image.

I missed the program and didn't attend any meetings. Tonight I screwed up and didn't attend my meditation meeting,,, tomorrow I hope to make my Alanon meeting.
It's difficult to get back into the swing of things when you are relaxed.

Grateful
1. HP guides me
2. The sun was healing
3. Sleeping in my bed after being away was comforting

God does for me what I cannot do for myself