I am being carried across the Sky

Beautiful day today the sun is shining on the beach. I wake up many Sundays feeling frantic. What should I do to take care of myself? Walk, go to a meeting, swim, work these thoughts race through my head. I feel that I wont make the best decision for me
to take care of myself. The choice I make won't make me happy.

These feelings are a revelation before I was in the spin of anxiety. I could not see out of the pain.
The truth is I have been acting out of this "spinning" my whole life. The spin was to get out of where I was in my head because it was too painful. My childhood was the training ground with the insanity around me. Today I don't have to escape my life is pretty safe. I dont have to live in the past nor fear the future. My Alanon tool kit is full and ready at all times. My program will not abandon me.

If I can sit quietly and turn it over to HP everything will be just where it is supposed to be. Life has many choices although I might make mistakes I can change my mind and make a new choice. I believe I have a wonderful loving spirit that has been created for some purpose. The people and situations I encounter each day also bring beauty and purpose. I can begin to look at the positive in everything that I do and see.

"Sometimes I go about pitying myself And all the while I am being carried across the sky
By beautiful clouds." Ojibway Indian saying