Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Feb 23,09

Today I had some difficult news to deal with. Learning to take care of myself emotionally is a new path for me.
My buisness partner wanted to have a meeting today before my medical exam. I knew we might talk of sensitive topics for me, so I canceled meeting up with her. This is taking care of me. Before I would have jumped into the experience.
Today I think about how to take care of myself and what that entails.
I dont want to get resentments later on toward my working partner, I would like to keep it clear.
It was hard to walk through my health issue as it was and I didnt need to add any drama.

1. HP/ Recovery
2. Learning one step at a time, How to take care of myself
3. Warm home to come to.
4. A husband who cares
5. Health insurance despite it's high cost

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Feb 4, 09

Patience with those that harm or disturb us is considered first. It does not matter where the harm is real or imagined, as even our fantasies are enough to create rage. That is why in the 4th step we look at our resentments first. They are deadly to our sobriety and to our peace of mind.

As the Twelve steps and twelve traditions says: In all times of emotional disturbance we can pause and ask for quiet...
1. for getting better after my cold
2. A caring husband
3. a warm home
4. My program
5. my HP
6. serenity one day at a time

Monday, February 2, 2009

Feb 2, 09

As the Big Book Says
this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal..if we were to live we had to be rid of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us ...for an alcoholic these things are poison.

The end of our suffering comes with a cost. the cost is the death of our self.
The addicted self the self born of greed, hatred and delusion, must die.
And even though this death is necessary and in a sense even welcome it comes with pain. and with mourning.

be patient with myself all comes as it supposed to
HP has a plan for me