Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Fantasy

Went to a Speaker AA meeting tonight to listen to a new friends story.

Her share was funny but sad. She spoke openly of the insanity alchohl created in her life. One of the crazy moments I related to was her fantasy world. At thirteen years old she pretended to be French to buy wine, later for a full year she spoke with a French accent at her dorm, and then assumed various other identity's to cover up lies.

Life with my alcoholic father was embarrassing. I retreated into a fantasy world to escape the craziness, at night I left into my film dreams. Later in life I pretended to be other people to be accepted in certain situations. They couldn't like me as I am. At one time I was from Turkey and then Switzerland. I was uncomfortable with D. I hope to laugh more at this aspect of my past. Today I don't have to pretend to be anything to make it OK for me to be in my skin....I am fine as I am.

Woody Allen's,Purple Rose of Cairo pretty much summed up an this aspect of my life in a film.

Today I will have the courage to look the truth in the face, admit my errors and my achievements, appreciate my growth, and make ammends where I have done harm.

"I care about truth not for truth's sake but for my own"

1 comment:

Syd said...

I know what you are writing about. I was the chameleon, changing to be how I thought the other person wanted me to be. What a lot of energy wasted. I am much more just me today.

Annie

Annie