Tuesday, February 28, 2012


Fred Luskin, instructor of the Stanford happiness class, said that the simplest definition of happiness is "wanting what you have." Conversely, the simplest definition of stress is "wanting something to be different."

Below are five techniques Luskin teaches for reducing stress and increasing happiness.

-- Keep a daily gratitude journal, listing items for which you feel grateful.
-- Perform a meditation practice, or simply a few minutes of deep breathing and quiet reflection on something that made you happy. Consider what you can do to achieve that happiness again.
-- Make a habit of sharing the highlights of your day with someone close to you.
-- Practice forgiveness routinely.
-- Construct a list of all activities and experiences that relax and rejuvenate you. Use items from this list to manage your daily stress.

Monday, February 27, 2012


Chilly morning needed my cup of tea to get going. Lately I have been waking up without the self loathing voices, they have retired to Southern California where it is warmer. Feel like I have been given a the gift of the program. I trusted in time it would shift
as it has done in the past.
It was a nice surprise the film from Iran won the Oscars last night. The script was won of the best in many years I have come across. The whole piece was tight and incredibly engaging in it's storytelling.
Life is full of surprises for that I am grateful.


Part of my recovery is respecting my need and right to let go and relax...
In All Our Affairs

Sunday, February 26, 2012


Ready for my Sunday to begin. My partner sleeps in the next room past 10:00A this morning I will walk alone.
Taking care of myself means spending some time alone...quite a bit of time alone. Working the program though
has given me the chance to learn to enjoy spending time with me. Strange as this sounds it was and still is
one of incredible self discovery learning to spend time alone. I was very upset in the past when my husband wouldn't participate in
his life the way I wanted. He liked being in his office working. There were so many things to explore in this world and I decided to
go out on my own. There are times I still have sadness around his inability to show up but this is his life. I work my program around this issue and turn it over to HP. HP has a plan for the universe.

Today I am going to walk along the ocean near my home. The water makes me feel calm. Later in the day I will meet up with friends.
Through working the steps, I have learned that I am lovable, regardless of what a parent or anyone else thinks. I can either feel sorry for what I have missed or I can appreciate the chance to learn to love and appreciate the chance to learn to love and appreciate myself. I do some of both, but today I know I have a choice. Courage to Change

"Gradually I accepted the fact that my 'if only' wishes were not about to come true. But i also learned that i could be happy even if they didn't."
Al-anon faces alcoholism

Friday, February 24, 2012

Scrubbed out of this hour

Sat in a beautiful meeting tonight. The talk was on the 12th step giving it away to keep it. Not expecting a return besides keeping my program alive. Compassion for those still suffering.

My relationship with my partner has taken a turn for the better. I try my best to love him for who he is rather than wanting him to be someone else. If only he could be and then I will reside in disappointment and resentment. This old way does not take me any further into caring for myself or him.

It reminds me of my relationship with my family at times. My one brother who I understood has slipped on prescription drugs after many years clean and sober. I only hope one day he will again get back into AA. Only hope that I can love him today for where he is at also. This is one area that I like to look at more to grow from and practice love toward.

Meeting with my sponsee tomorrow at 11 the Hostel near the ocean. She is struggling with step three. We will sip coffee and I will listen. A beautiful garden sits near the hostel we usually walk through the rows of plants, trees, and greenhouses.
Lemons are ripening and the fragrance of Myer lemons fills the air.

Time for sleep.

Monday, February 20, 2012


It was a nice weekend although a cold was trying to dig into my healthy self.
I took it easy most of the time but cant remember Saturday much...my memory is not as strong as it once was.
For years I could remember details that others had forgotten, recollecting some of the past is best left alone.
My relationships problems were ready to be thrown back into the face of my partner when he did something wrong.
But today I get to start all over again it is a new day.

1. Being in recovery
2. Working a spiritual program
3. Being in a warm home
4. Having a partner who tries his best
5. Repair of old family relationships

Friday, February 17, 2012

Crystal rain

1. HP guidance
2. My Program
3. Health
4. Life lessons
5. Safety

It's important for me to look at what I have instead of what is not working in my life. I have a tendency to concentrate on the problem. But the beauty is I am not GOD there is a plan and I get to turn it over to HP. This intention can shift my day into a whole new experience.

Crystal rain falls from black clouds.
Persian saying

Thursday, February 9, 2012


Just got through feeding the birds. They come in large groups finches, sparrows, the occasional blue jay to feed on the nuts. It is comforting to watch them go about their business. My family loves birds and it is a safe topic we can share with one another. It's important for me to remember there are better areas in our lives to chat about. There is too much Fox news being spread across and into the homes of people. Fear and distrust is not a good intention to run through the day.

I am making some baby steps with my mother. Recently my step father died after battling a long illness. He wasnt the nicest man to be around especially after he guzzled the two six packs. So for today I wish our relationship to heal moving closer to some serene moments between us. I believe it is all her fault and she might have the same feeling. The Alanon disease just goes on and on until I have the willingness to work on myself. Everything else changes then the world spins according to the universal plan.

Getting ready to work on a video project at the Z Center. Lots of robes, chanting, and incense this weekend.

My thoughts are my teachers. Are they teaching me to love and appreciate myself and others, or are they teaching me to practice isolation? Today I will choose my teachers with greater care.
Courage to Change

Sunday, February 5, 2012


Turning my will and life over to the care of God. I did not trust there would be anyone there for me. God? This was my willpower that ran things, others, myself until it all fell apart. I am grateful it did fall into ruins the pieces were scattered and I was unable to put it back together again. This is where the program had a crack to enter into my life. My ego was letting go for once it did not have a choice.

Stepping into the unknown and trusting the program would be there for me. Taking baby steps this weekend I wanted to control reaching out and doing service for others.

1. My precious life
2. curiosity
3. health
4. love of reading
5. my laptop

Step Three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. “Bring the body and the mind will follow.” This was an early piece of A.A. folkwisdom that program old-timers used to pass on to new recruits. It was a simple way to convey the deeper truth that this is a program of action. Steps Three through Twelve are action steps designed to bring about what Carl Jung called a “conversion experience” or a “spiritual awakening”. This change in the Mind of the addict had to be powerful enough to overcome addiction. Take enough rigorous action and soon the Mind will change. Worry about it, think about it, talk about it and you’re very likely to remain unchanged.

Remember always that you are just a visitor here
A traveler passing through
Your stay is but short
The moment of your departure unknown

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


1. for the Program and it's gifts
2. My sponsor
3. Willingness
4. Meditation
5. My Y he drives me nuts but I love him