Right thought

I feel fortunate to be at peace with moments of my life. This is a gift of the program.One day at at time my life is unfolding into days weeks months....

There are still days I don't feel too good but nothing like the past.
Driving today I realized the choices that occur throughout the day for me.
I can honk at the guy who cut me off or I can make a decision to keep it calm.
Engaging with a stranger for my peace of mind doesn't seem to make sense.
But these kind of choices occur for me many times during the day.
Changing my behavior and experimenting with my life is trying out new aspects of my who I am.

As the weekend approaches I often think there needs to be big plans for enormous events.However most of the time I prefer to be spontaneous and let the day unfold. This could be as simple as getting a tamale at a corner store from a Honduran women.

But today I felt that I should be doing something important, anything other than what I was doing. Where does this come from not being satisfied with myself?
I think it has to do with my past and being cut off from my feelings today I learn more about Dianne and what are my wants and needs. This is from having no sense of who I am and searching endlessly for the answer to pop out of the sky.

As the program works in my life I find my anxious voice is smaller.
Working step 4 has helped me recognize some past patterns and their origins. Learning to turn this over to HP helps me detach. Letting the day be settled and full is satisfying.

We are sewing a new robe for the Zen priest in our recovery program. He is celebrating 10 years of running our group with Recovery and Buddhism.
Every stitch we sew right thought is carefully focused onto the garment.
I am grateful that Alanon has given me so much more than I could have imagined.

"Just for today I will find a little time to relax and to realize what life is and can be; time to think about God and get a better perspective on myself"