Sunday, April 25, 2010

One Day at a time

Progress not perfection. I feel good tonight. This weekend my sponsee and I met and said goodbye for a couple of months. She is moving back home for a work transfer. She tries her best working, the steps has been very slow. But I believe she has a willingness and some just take more time than others. I have gotten incredible insights by sponsoring. Her struggles and willingness to be vulnerable with her shares are touching.

Watching the Lois Story tonight made me feel grateful. It changed my life showing up for recovery.
One day at a time.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

People Pleasing

Last week i attended a conference for my recovery practice. Part of the plan was to share a room with someone.
She was introduced to me by a friend from the program but I didnt know her that well. It is part of my recovery to do whatever it takes to work my program. It felt uncomfortable to share this personal space but I jumped in.
She snored but it was nice getting to know her. Her views are much more conservative than mine politically. I tried to stay true to my beliefs but made my points in softer way than I have in the past.

The most difficult situation was staying present for myself despite some of her needs. I stepped back when in the past I would try to make her comfortable over my needs. My people pleasing behavior has stopped me from rooming and sharing with people.
Learning how to take care of myself in situations is still difficult for me. But I can also turn my will and my life over to HP.

I noticed she somewhat stepped back and waited for me to step in to take over in certain situations. In a couple of instances I let her go first but then I also showed up for myself later on. It's interesting to step back and watch my old behaviors.

When I treat myself to kindness and respect, I am better able to get along with others.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now-when?" Hillel