Monday, January 26, 2009

Jan 26,09

In the back of the Big Book in the doctor’s story there is the often quoted paragraph on acceptance. And although it is not part of the central text, it has become for many a bit of sacred writ. Here is a partial quotation:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Being Worthy And Deserving

If you cannot accept yourself - accept that you are worthy and deserving - then you cannot accept the behavior of other people and are therefore in judgment of them.

Jan 25, 09

A good friend from the program has moved lots of friends are moving out of the city these days. What does that have to do with the program..?
Well my friends are my family, my family lives far away and my mother is really not a part of my life. She visited me once in 30 years
Sad Really she missed alot. I have to practice a program around her
and her extreme naracism. She is trying the best she can with her life.
Acceptance of myself. I try hard and want to give myself credit
for being there in my life just for today
I have the program and friends in the program that will always be there for me.
It will never let me down ever
1. for the program
2. HP
3. My husband
4. lifes preciousness

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Jan 13,2009

Had a wonderful day today...Walked on the beach tried to stay in the moment and feel the air the sun hear the waves.This is really a gift of working the program being able to be present for myself.
"We come to ALanon seeking change. We want to end our pain, and we turn to Alanon in the hope of finding out what to do."
How Alanon woks for families and friends of Alcholics

Monday, January 12, 2009

Jan 12,09

Tonight I worked on my step work it really is difficult looking at some of these things ...But the alternative is not living a life free from my old actions which isnt serving me anymore.
I do have choices and options, this so freeing to even write these words.
My husbands moods are out of my control. His outbursts are not caused and cannot be cured by me.
What can I do to break the cycle I can change only my behavior. This means not acting in the old way which was to engage in his anger. I feel embarrassed to be writing these words. I do not have a perfect marriage. But I dont want to call my friends who are not in the program and talk about my private affairs. This does not serve me.
Grateful for
1. My HP
2. Being able to Live and Learn
3. The Wonderful Day
4. Getting a Massage
5. Spending Time with a Friend before she move to NY
6. Going to the Unity Center and singing
7. Eating great food

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Jan 7,09

Went to a meeting tonight it feels good to connect at the meetings.
Heard a great share about anger and resentments, this keeps me sick. I want to look more at how to work through this anger.
I had a horrible migraine today I had to take medication and go to bed and sleep.
Its really hard on me having such horrible migraines they are debilitating.
I try not to take it as I am worthless that I cant control my body.
My husband is really not very supportive toward me it hurts. But I dont want to go down the poor me trail, the Alanon salute. Turn it over to God and do the footwork.
"In Alanon we discover that no situation is hopeless"
Grateful for
1. My program
2. HP
3. willingness
4. My life

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Jan 6,08

Just for today I will try to stay in the moment and not obsess about the future or what happened in the past.
I noticed in meditation last night my mind was racing and all kinds of thoughts were taking over. The topic was love
in the meeting. I think of love and I do feel I have the capacity to love more than I ever have in my life but it still causes me some pain. I liked what was said in regards to waiting for the soul mate to come and all would be alright. More for me it has to do with i left my life behind...That is addict thinking for me my life has many blessings and I want to be able to appreciate them.
1. My Program
2. Spiritual life
3. Relationship with my husband
4. Health

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Jan 3, 08

Saturday beautiful sun cold weather. I went to pick up my chip last night felt good but odd. Why I am not sure the meeting really kind a bothers me in some ways. It's large alot of people.
1. Present for myself
2. Working a program
3. Healthy