Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Words

Learning to bring words to my feelings has been a challenge. For years I expressed myself poorly but was lucky to have work as a creative outlet.

Tonight my husband made a couple of nasty remarks.His words in the past would have added fuel to a fight. For some reason I let the comments fly over my head. In one instance I felt he could be right about a friend who had invited us to dinner. He insulted my husband verbally at one of his large dinner parties.
I chose to ignore it but felt it was bad behavior and was humiliated. Could it have been the large amounts of wine my friend drank that night? That is none of my business.

But my business is taking care of D, me. What am I getting out of humiliation?
My suffering brought me alot of attention and pity. I grew accustomed to blaming others for my problems. These benefits are no longer worth the price.

Like they say I am finding out in Alanon and the help of my HP there is a beautiful person within me who has no need to build an identity around suffering. I am learning to let that person blossom.

The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances....Martha Washington

Gratitude
1. For Alanon
2. Service
3. Willingness to learn and grow
4. Going to see Pema Chodron at Omega Institute
5. My Health so many of me dear friends are in horrible shape
6 Prayer for those out there still suffering

1 comment:

Syd said...

I am doing my best to live what you describe--to let comments fly over my head but to also keep boundaries and detach when necessary. I can feel humility but don't want humiliation. Great post.

Annie

Annie