Save your own ass

Wonderful day today it is our best time of year in northern California. I drove up north to a concert outside in 98 degree fall weather. Loved getting out into the country, ate a great meal with frozen frozen hibiscus tea.
My life is pretty good these days which I am grateful. Although one part of me lives in anxiety waiting for it to all end with one of H's rage attacks. I can feel it coming his work alcoholic days are piling up. What can I do about this? Stay present for myself and count the gratitude with my life at this moment. These rage attacks were very similar to my fathers alcoholic bursts as a child nothing could be counted on. I didn't know what to expect at nights. I have just realized the similarity to H and his rage attacks which is amazing the blogs are a great learning tool. I didn't cause, I cant cure it and I cant control it
The miracle working for me today is that I did enjoy myself I am learning to take care of me and not feel guilty. There have been many times I would have gone by myself and felt sad because H was at home. He doesn't like to go out much he works all the time. Really works. Horrible addiction but that is for him to work on I have to work on me.
Alanon is such a great program I have gotten so much in the rooms, through the literature, working the steps and having a sponsor.
It's a save your own ass program
Gratitude
HP works in miraculous ways
I am enjoying the steps and working on 4 at the moment
Some are sicker than others in the program but I have seen change occur slow but sure
It was amazing today I enjoyed myself with friends
Learning to enjoy my life despite some of my sadness about H not being able to be present
One second at a time
"God asks no man whether he will accept life. That is not the choice. You must take it. The only choice is how."
Henry Beecher