The Holiday is going smooth so far. Today I felt a sinking feeling and sadness enter into the day. I have no plans for Christmas day. Is this so bad? Well in some ways no it is just another day in the year. There are many expectations that I have attached to the Holidays. I want to be invited to friends homes and be together.
This doesn't happen too many years. Why doesn't this happen for me?
In the past I made dinners and had people over. I wanted the Holidays to change and be invited to a home, and it has some years. In the past we sometimes went to a friend's home and celebrated. The last time I went to his home he was snorting cocaine and drinking bottles of wine. This also is not how I want to spend the Holidays.
Wanting something else. This is where I also feel my Alanon issue lies in being uncomfortable with me. What can I do to take care of myself?
I have time to plan something for Y and I. He is working nonstop. This weekend was a work all weekend kind of weekend. The Holidays are when Y works the most. I would like to be with him but he cant be there for himself. I am not responsible for his happiness.
HP has a plan for him.
I am not God
I dont have to feel alone the program is always there for me.
Turning it over to Hp for right now
1 comment:
I thought the same thing and then decided for the last two years to have others over. It was a wonderful time. This year is different but that's okay. I am content with how it is.
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