My husband and I are going through a difficult time. I feel abandoned, threatened and unlovable when these situations occur they have followed us through our marriage. I care about him but find it hard to love him when these problems come up. I used to in the past follow him down his rage trail, awful things were done to each other. Lashing out verbally, tearing each other down it caused such horrible wreckage. I often felt it was all my fault and that I had caused him to act this way toward me. Then I would act out in a way that was harmful to me, the rage I felt was turned inward. But today due to my program I can try and step back from his actions. What he says about me is none of my business. Staying detached is very difficult for me I want to engage and fix it....fix it and his rage and make it all right for us.
"Today I will let it begin with me". I do not have to accept unacceptable behavior; I can begin by refusing to accept it from myself. I can choose to behave courteously and with dignity."
Gratitude
1. HP loves me and has never left me
2. The Program for welcoming me back
3. Family they are trying very hard
4. For the ability to look at my life
5. For Tylenol
6. Work in all it's unfolding
"My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitudes and feelings. If I am always reacting, then I am never free."
Alanon is for Adult Children of Alcoholics
3 comments:
its true - as long as I am focussed on myself I am pretty good to go. I always thought this was selfish and self serving but I am finding that this is how healthy people get on in life.
Good post. I mind my own business and like to say that if it doesn't have my name on it, I don't pick it up.
Wow! There is a load of wisdom in what you write--and in what your "comment peeps" stated.
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