Thursday, July 23, 2009

Old Ways

My husband has decided to come out of his rage and slowly is saying a few sentences. Where am I in all this?
By not apologizing for something I did not feel was my fault, I keep the fire fueled. Learning that "I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it". I begin to feel sorry for myself and that my life with him has been a waste, I am doomed.
Old ways of keeping my victim status alive and well and our relationship sick.
The unpleasant things other people say or do have no power to destroy my peace of mind or ruin my day unless i permit it.
Do I allow myself to respond to the words of a sick person as if they were the ultimate truth? Could I possibly be getting some benefits from accepting humiliation?
Today I am finding out who I really am with the help of my Higher Power and the Al-Anon program.
Gratitude
1. HP loves me despite myself
2. One day at a time I work the Program to the best of my ability
3. Might go camping this weekend where there is sun and not fog
4. Life is unfolding around me and will continue to unfold

"There is much to appreciate in this life. I wont waste another moment feeling sorry for myself."

2 comments:

Wait. What? said...

Good for you!!!

Camping sounds like just the thing - I wish you lots of sunshine and peace.

Cat

Syd said...

I think that as long as the focus is on me, I'm not doomed. I don't have to respond to a sick person. What they say and do is not about me and doesn't define me. I am so glad to have learned that. I remind myself of it when I start to weaken in my resolve.

Annie

Annie