Lonliness was pulling me into it's ocean I swam in the tide. This feeling of running away from the void and fear of where it will take me.
Y woke up trudging downstair and began working.
He worked till 12 each night. His behavior is difficult to deal with especially on our days off.
All day he worked it 's eleven he is at his computer doing excel spread sheets.
How do I take care of myself with his work workaholism? I am learning more what I like and how I want to spend my time. I get tangled up in the abandonment. He is a sick person. Yesterday he repeated again how he is working for both of us. His actions infuriate me I dont ask him to work all day and night he makes that choice on his own. But i still feel like he is hurting me he does not care about our relationship. I am powerless HP has a plan though I can turn it over.
I drove around until finally it dawned on me to check out a meeting. It was not a good meeting
there were a couple of nut cases in the rooms. But it took me out of the spin and grounded me.
The program helps me tremendously with my life. It was insanity that I experienced today.
Listening to buddhist talks also helps me quite the chatter in my mind. One particular monk addresses lonliness incredibly well.
The relationship with myself
One day at a time
1 comment:
Those abandonment issues get me every time. I understand that. It is the old tape rolling for me, taking me back to where I'm not good enough. But I know that it is just that--old feelings--and not ones that I have to own today.
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