Fear

Great meditation meeting tonight at the Zen Center. The lecture was on fear and addiction. The one share I related to the most was that fear feeds the addictive process. This just struck me like a lightning bolt of realization for some reason tonight.
An older man spoke about the attachment to these thoughts determining who we are in the world. The ego wants to keep it's place in my world. An instructor I had at one point told me this was a common experience in meditation. I couldnt continue with the class my ego wouldnt let go and I left the class. Just for today i can stay in meditation now. It gives me relief I can let go more than in the past.

I have been faced with some of my character defects pretty heavy these past few weeks. This is my opportunity for growth...I really don't have a choice just turn it over to HP. It is why I got into recovery I didn't have a choice. My life was in bad shape.

I watch my mind in meditation a low level of anxiety permeates. Thoughts come and go and I try not to attach and just watch. Breathe and watch.
Lately I have begun labeling negative, fear, above the game, negative, it goes around in a spin. But the beauty is I have the ability with the help of the program to learn and grow. Nothing remains the same in life.

Gratitude
1. HP has a plan for me
2. Laughing it's good for the soul
3. I don't have to attach to every thought that enters my mind
4. The Zen center