The program has helped my relationship with her tremendously. She just couldn't and wouldn't take my advice in the past...I look back and realize my disease was running the show.
She wanted us to take care of her and I gladly jumped into the role.
Then when she also wanted my Husband to come into the caretaker role it really irked me.
Resentments were close at hand. It was not a good place for me to be in. I was never enough for her although I was trying in my people pleasing way to make her life comfortable even at the expense of my serenity.
I merge with people who are close to me. It is very uncomfortable for me I dont want to be someones everything but I feel this is my job..or I used to feel this. It was also hard for me to look women in the eye sometimes I am still unsure why this would occur guess it had to do with being uncomfortable in my skin..My relationship with my mother was too close too much information was shared with me at a young age. She tried her best with what she had. Today I dont have much of a relationship with her. With time and the tools of the program maybe some sliver between us can begin.
Tonight with my sister in law and the help of the program the dinner was wonderful. When she arrived to stay in SF I was glad to see her and stepped back and let her take care of herself. This means I don't call her everyday, try not to gossip about other family members and to let her take care of herself. Detach with love toward her.
"I am a separate person with the responsibility and right to live my own life and make my own choices and to experience the consequences or rewards from them. Your loved one has the responsibility and right to live his/her own life and make his/her own choices and to experience the consequences or rewards from them. You can learn how to care about your loved one and still live your own life by detaching with love." Borrowing this quote from another sums up my feelings.
Gratitude
For my HP all else follows from my spiritual path
1 comment:
Very true as I am finding out with my elderly in-laws. I cannot make them get house help or stop driving. There is a point when I simply have to let them make their decisions, unless they cannot do so due to incompetence. Thankfully, they are not at that stage.
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