Life has a way

Enjoying my night listening to my favorite radio show playing international music. It is one of my weekly joys to sit at home turn off everything but the show, make a fire, and listen. The announcer is incredibly informative traveling extensively throughout the world collecting music. I have loved traveling taking myself out of my safe world and into the unknown. With all my crazy behavior I am grateful I had the courage to begin traveling at a young age.

I could not wait to leave my home as a young kid. My first trips were to camps, then to England and eventually I left for college in Europe and worked in Africa, Asia and the Middle East. As long as I was not present for the insanity then I was safe. With time my Alanon disease progressed it became obvious the trips were to run away from myself. There were many times choices I made were dangerous and I could have ended up in very bad situations. HP had other plans for me. I hoped to live a deeper more meaningful life with the program this slowly is materializing.

Life has a way of working out just the way it was supposed to.

Today it is nice to know I have choices in the way I respond to situations. I am no longer a child living in fear. Tonight my husband was in a bad mood as the evening progressed his mood worsened. He is going to bed angry. It is not possible for me to make him feel any better..

I have a choice in how I am going to respond to his baiting comments. It makes me sad he cant be happier but I am not able to make him feel better. In the past I used his comments to make my evening serene or miserable. My feelings were dependent on those around me. This is a way I would leave my life also by piggybacking on others moods to express my own rage.

I can pray tonight for Y wishing him joy, peace and serenity....

Gratitude

Learning how to take care of myself

Life is precious I thank HP for my life

The fire is still burning although outside is raining