More on Happiness. Getting home from a rigorous Pilates class tonight. The instructor is from Iran. He gives such a great deal on the reformer machines.
Well still wanting to talk more on my Happiness class. What makes me happy is learning to take care of myself so I don't have the expectation that others will take care of me. You see it's a carni ride my game from the past. I sacrificed for others and then expected the same toward me. And around and around it went....
resentments were my payoff and the story of victimhood. Painful to think of this game I learned and then took on in my life.
Taking care of myself also means not having to listen non stop to sick Alanon conversations. Learning how to set boundaries in a caring loving manner. My friend T has broken up with her boyfriend M. So her calls are non stop what a creep M is and then repeat the process again. I can't participate in bad mouthing with her as I did in the past. This is an addictive pattern that I find unkind and feeding someones addiction. As bad as he may have been in the past she has also gone back to this fella. The last phone call I told her I had to get off the phone and back to work.
Feeling my emotions and not trying to fix her. This is real recovery for me. Live and let live.
I think that also I made myself too available in the past. Why? They needed me so they would be there for me. Fucked up thinking. again expectations attached there. Today letting HP take me into it's moment by moment knowledge love and acceptance.
Grateful.
1. For recovery and showing up in my life
2. Loving without expectations
3. that I didnt get a migraine today
4. worked well with by B partner
5. practice of patience is what I try to let sink in
More on Happiness
1 comment:
Interesting about the sick Al-Anon conversations. That would be a good topic to address I suppose. I have heard many of those in the past but now choose my meetings to be the ones where there is the most recovery.
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