Laughter

Listening to Tom Waits he reminds me of some of the characters that my Dad would drink with at his bar, The Corner Club. One of the lines he mentioned made me laugh at this crazy life. " Watched a pimp feedin ice cream to a dog," Tom Waits sings.
Glad I can laugh at life. Still have of memories floating from the Holidays past and present and I unfortunately attach to some of them. Working the steps, letting go.
What do I choose to focus on? Laughing at it all right now.

Last night I attended a great 12 step Buddhist meeting focused on suffering. Everything can be an opportunity for growth. Watching... suffering... using it as a lesson. I can sometimes drown in my suffering, there is my fear swirling into a whirlpool down stream. Listening to C eloquently unravel this feeling was a relief. When you live a life of practice everything is grist for the mill. This is so beautiful that I have choices and so does everyone else who works a program.

My sponsees have been calling, texting and emailing. They couldn't call when the problem was fresh, during the holidays. This is a disease of isolation.
I too find that when it gets bad I want to retreat into my disease model. When I reach out this helps shift the patterns. The old voices go something like this, No one will understand, I am alone,and so on and so on...


Feeling good tonight.Just for tonight............


9th & Hennepin

Well, it's 9th and Hennepin
All the donuts have names that sound like prostitutes
And the moon's teeth marks are on the sky
Like a tarp thrown all over this
And the broken umbrellas are like dead birds
And the steam comes out of the grill
Like the whole goddam town is ready to blow
And the bricks(3) are all scarred with jailhouse tattoos
And everyone is behaving like dogs

And the horses are coming down Violin Road
And Dutch is dead on his feet(4)
And all the rooms they smell like diesel
And you take on the dreams of the ones who have slept there
And I'm lost in the window
And I hide in the stairway
And I hang in the curtain
And I sleep in your hat

And no one brings anything small into a bar