Feelings aren't facts.
Today I woke up to a beautiful day. But I felt so out of sorts I wanted someone to help me get through it...I found the perfect person to disappoint me to set up the expectation...Y my husband and begin the resentment. This is my disease.
We have large shrubs that need chopping, I wanted help at that second. He did not want to help me. Bingo My feelings began. One overwhelming feeling was loneliness, disappointment and then the run began...wanting to escape. This was my childhood coping mechanism the need to run from the home, run from me, run from them, run from society. So I took a walk and as it progressed a realization occurred. How do I take care of me ? What would make me feel nurtured?
The fact is sometimes I really don't know what I could do to take care of me.
Odd really I have alot of hobbies, friends, etc. but these are just filler.
Sitting with myself in meditation gives me the most serenity. Accepting me just where I am in all my humanness. The program is what has given me freedom.
Tremendous gratitude for this life and the ability to recognize it.
Gratitude List
1st Column: What are you grateful for in the relationship with yourself?
One thing every day for 90 days.
Sample: In my relationship with myself I am grateful for my health..
2nd Column: What are you grateful for in the relationship with my addict in recovery.
One thing every day for 90 days.
Sample: In my relationship with Sam I am grateful that he is in AA.
3rd Column: What are you grateful for in general?
Five things every day for 90 days.
Sample: Today I am grateful for having God in my life.
Today I am grateful for my Al-Anon program.
Today I am grateful for my life.
Today I am grateful for my family.
Today I am grateful for my serenity.
Do this exercise every day for 90 days. After 90 days you will have a list of 630 things that you are indeed grateful for and you will also have started to really appreciate everything in your life. Never duplicate anything. I guarantee that you will feel a shift in your behaviors and attitudes.
Gratitude makes us more patient, kinder and humble people.
It’s my experience that gratitude helped me to finally do my third step and that is to surrender my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood him.
Annie
1 comment:
What a great idea about the list. I am going to do that and suggest it to those I sponsor. I understand the running and the loneliness part. I was dealing with a lot of those feelings last week. Neither my wife nor I was in a good place with regard to life events. But we got through it with communicating our feelings to each other.
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