the 3 c's

Feeling calm tonight after a nice dinner at home. We invited Y nephew and a couple of friends.
I began cooking early this morning. Yesterday thinking of the dinner I noticed that things werent
sitting right. This made me think about how i was going to take care of myself. A few phone calls were made and things began to feel better. Taking care of myself sometimes me asking others to show up for a dinner by participating. I dont have to do it all.
They have a choice if this works or not for them. Of course if it doesn't work I can choose another plan
but it can not continue as in the past. She decided to show up and help  me with the dinner.
This works better for everyone. As I age and work a program the martyr just doesnt work for me. This role is a set up for resentments.
We can remain better friends with boundaries.

Y has not really been much better he seems more stable but in a horrible mood. This is where I get to practice my program. He can be in a  mood and I can have a choice in how I am going to take care of Dianne. It's not my job to make him feel better. There is a set up and I wont bite his bait called the blame game. In the past my self esteem was so low he could trigger me to act out also. It was ugly.

The 3 c's

We didn’t CAUSE it; we cannot CONTROL it;
and
We cannot CURE it.

Taking Care of myself is/ was and INSIDE job.
I am grateful for Alanon
The Holidays have been very nice despite everything.
Hp has a plan for me.