Detaching again

Tonight feeling comfortable and enjoying reading blogs. Had a trigger today with a friend. One area I am working on is choosing friendships that can show up. I do understand my chooser is broken although I do love my friends despite it all. I dont want my friends to feel left out and invite them to events despite it being the wrong thing to do sometimes. One friend is bottoming out with her untreated Alanon behavior. She looks like a addicted homeless person living on the streets. Her clothing is dirty and torn and this is what she wears to work.
What happened? Sad really she doesn't have an idea of how she looks I guess. Well.. I invited her to an art event that another friend and I go to regularly. I told C it is a dress up event scared she would show up in her dirty clothes which she does quite regularly....She declined the offer to attend the event with me. Instead of feeling relieved I felt like I had been rejected. Set up for victim feelings.

 I wasn't true to my offer in some ways I made it so she would decline.
There was an attachment to how I want C to be in the world. C is where she is right now and it is not a pretty sight to watch your friend bottoming out in Alanon. She is too busy taking care of her Alcoholic boyfriend.
How do I take care of myself in this situation?
Detach with love
Remember that you are powerless over others. This is such an important thing to remember if you want to improve your relationships (or just live a positive life in general). No matter what you would like to believe, you have zero control over others. Realize this and you will free yourself from a lot of mental anguish.