Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Getting hooked

Just got off the phone with a Alanon call. P was upset about not getting a business deal she was to blame.
There are cures to her problems and it is all out there she just hasn't been able to find the answer.
If only she had the right boyfriend, therapist, friend, etc etc....This seeking is is a good thing but it has caused considerable anxiety for me.
This pretty much sums up part of my disease. When they were handing out life guide books I was not given the manual.  I am glad I took her call it helped me look within by offering my experience, strength and hope.
Accepting and letting go is a giant tool for me. It is all grist for the mill learning more as I grow emotionally more secure within myself.


Tonight I also met with my Buddhist teacher. I talked of my interest in possible, not sure, maybe taking a further step in my practice. I laughed at myself and my trepidation. It's ok that is where I am at and it's not such a bad thing.Could be that trust takes time to build. I walk through it all and keep showing up.


We are reading Pema Chodrons No Time to Loose.
 discussing Shenpa.




A central theme of Pema Chödrön's teachings is the Tibetan word shenpa,[10] or how we get hooked.
Somebody says a mean word to you and then something in you tightens — that's the shenpa. Then it starts to spiral into low self-esteem, or blaming them, or anger at them, denigrating yourself. And maybe if you have strong addictions, you just go right for your addiction to cover over the bad feeling that arose when that person said that mean word to you. This is a mean word that gets you, hooks you. Another mean word may not affect you but we're talking about where it touches that sore place — that's a shenpa. Someone criticizes you — they criticize your work, they criticize your appearance, they criticize your child — and, shenpa: almost co-arising.[13


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Annie

Annie