Giving rise to peace

Had a full day at the Zen Center retreat. It was a beautiful fall day, sunny and warm.
Sitting with a room full of women in silence is rewarding and challenging. My mind clings to the annoying one in the room.
She wants to leave and ride her bike it's too nice a day to sit inside. I wanted to wake her up! Walk through it lady with your
head up, is the first thing that came to me. I picked up my chair and moved away from her, I just didnt want to get caught in the net. In the corner I heard her mention needing to leave shortly.
Despite my clinging to the negative "one" it was a beautiful day. In the past these situations would spoil my days. Hiding out behind the disappointment is a place that I choose not to reside, of course just for today.
Today was satisfying, full and sometimes sad. A full range of feelings came up for me. The gift of the program allows a full range of feelings to arise and then I might be able to identify them.

As the day began I heard a small voice whimpering,"I thought I would be cured by now. It is not going to happen this time around."
Yes I wanted the pill to make my life full of daisies and Doris Day movie tunes.
What has taken me down to the depths of who I am is teaching me lessons that would not be examined otherwise.
I do have an incredible life today.

One topic we covered today was Equanimity. It is one of the most sublime emotions of Buddhist practice. It is the ground for wisdom and freedom and the protector of compassion and love. While some may think of equanimity as dry neutrality or cool aloofness, mature equanimity produces a radiance and warmth of being. The Buddha described a mind filled with equanimity as “abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill-will.”

The English word “equanimity” translates two separate Pali words used by the Buddha. Each represents a different aspect of equanimity.

The most common Pali word translated as “equanimity” is upekkha, meaning “to look over.” It refers to the equanimity that arises from the power of observation, the ability to see without being caught by what we see. When well-developed, such power gives rise to a great sense of peace.