Thursday, December 5, 2013

Showing up for myself

Nice to be at home quietly my husband is visiting his Mom. It's good to have alone time. In the past I didn't know how to be alone with myself. I was constantly doing, going, leaving, anything to escape the feelings.
Today I can sit with myself in silence  and enjoy the serenity. This is one of the miracles they talk about in the rooms. Learning to take care of selves and be present for others out of my abundance.

Yesterday I experienced another migraine with my husband being out of town I was a little frightened.
I lost my sight for a few hours. Just kept calm as much as possible meditating helped to ground me.
Reached out to my sister it was a mistake. She is not much of a nurturer.
 I mourn the damage alcoholism has caused our family. I wanted L to be someone who she isnt.
She is who she is I can't change her.  Learning to care for others where they are at and myself where I am at.
Huge lesson for me.

Having a meditation practice is a way of fully entering your life, without reservation. When you meditate, when you sit and notice without assessing how you’re doing, you just show up for your life. In the moment of meditation, nothing is required of you. It’s enough to be here on the planet, to experience a moment of presence, to fully honor the gift of being alive. And it is a gift, one that just comes to you. You don’t have to ask.

If we don't show up for our own life, we tend to ask other people to fill in the bits we won't show up for. That makes it hard on them. So love begins with really showing up. And practice helps. It’s a way of not dodging the difficult, painful bits. It’s also not dodging the beauty and the marvel of life, the wonder and our capacity to connect to others. Love starts there. 

1 comment:

Syd said...

I'm sorry about the migraine but glad that you do have some time to yourself. I recharge that way. I need time to be solitary. Hope that you are feeling better.